Dear kids,

I have started many times to write this letter and have not finished because not being able to have you as part of my life has been emotionally devastating for me and as hurt as I am from the constant barrage of attacks directed toward me in order to keep me from having a relationship with you, I have no desire to become a hateful person who spends all of their time engaging in a hate war. If I did that, then really I would be no better then a KKK member bashing a person because they are different then me or leading a different life style then me. It takes an awfully petty person to engage in such beliefs, not to mention, that if I did that, I would be concerned with the collateral damage and potential long reaching fall out my actions might have on you kids. That is how important you are to me. The only way I would ever retaliate is if it comes down to self preservation, but hopefully the evil people of the world will have at least the modicum of intelligence required to stop short of that. I hope you remember that when you were living with me I never would have even thought of keeping you from seeing your mother, that would have been wrong. When I gave you back to your mother, it was because you kids wanted your mother to be part of your life and she swore to me that she would never keep me from seeing you...this promise has been broken. It is my own short coming really, because their was a case in San Diego that set precedent for fathers maintaining custody of abandoned children, which technically you were at that time. All I had to do was file a claim stating that you mom had left you at my residence one day and moved out of state. I didn't do this because I feel it is just as important that a child knows their mother as it is that they know there father. If I kept you from her I would have been no better then a egotistical dictator controlling your life based on my own short comings and jaded emotions... I am beyond that stage of development. I no longer hold onto any emotional attachments to your mother and believe me I wish the feeling was mutual. I believe that every child should have the right to know their parent though and I know the three of you are capable of determining whether or not some one has your best interest at heart and how beneficial a relationship is to your general well being. I hope you remember the good times and the fun we had while we were together in the house in St. Petersburg, they remain clear in my mind and strong in my heart. I hope that you know how much I love you and that I always miss you. I also want you to know that all three of you are welcome in my life at any time once you are old enough to make your own decisions or if you can overcome the obstacles of your mother and George. My family kept me from knowing my real dad as well, until I was 15 and even then I had to fight like heck to get that right. I could go into long dissertations on the lopsided injustices of our failing legal systems, or the inherent wrongness of a society of materialistic gross consumers or the fact that in fairly recent history it was women who had no rights in regards to child custody, which was wrong, and the pendulum of justice has swung (as it always does) from one extreme to the other, and now it is men who have no rights in regards to child custody, which is also wrong and how ironic it is that the very people who were persecuted are now the ones doing the persecuting...but let's just say that injustices are a common occurrence in today's society and as long as people put their own personal monetary gain above all else, for instance a child's need for their father, then we shall continue as a whole to be on a downward societal swing. Some people just aren't intelligent enough to stop shooting themselves in the foot, which is in effect what they are doing whether they choose to acknowledge it know or 15 years down the road when it starts effecting their lives in some adverse way.

Just so you know and in hopes that the truth will set me free, as they say it does...:

I tried to call many more times then you are aware of, but only about 20% of my calls were returned.

I was going to move to my most dreaded place on earth (Texas) just so I could be near you kids, but your mom quickly called me and put the kabash on that with threats of arrest. She informed me she lied to the courts and told them I said I was going to kidnap you kids – I hope you have the good sense to know that this emphatically not true. I would never do that, if that was my intention I never would have given you back to your mother in the first place, I would have just filed the abandoned children papers.

There are many things I wish to share with you, but I can't because everything I do your mother and George try and use against me in some way. Ever since your mom has remarried, her and George have stalked me on the internet relentlessly...it's very weird. What kind of pusillanimous squidgerine of a man indulges his wife in obsessing on her ex-husband? What kind of texas chainsaw relationship is that? Seems sick and somewhat perverse, but who am I to judge?